What I Found

There I was a youth in the Bronx. Loads of illusions were crushed. I sought, as a result a tougher side within, one which could survive all the adversity. I found it. Found it for a few years to suffice. Made myself a rep. Strangers knew me, I did not know them. These, my rep, were things which filled up the corners of their lives, and so it was easy.

But that only lasted a few years. Then I began to betray self. The pseudo self I had erected. I was unconscious to it, but it was there nonetheless, conflict. In the form of Anxiety. Conflict, why, because subconsciously my Psyche knew it was a lie. A fabrication. A front.

Like that which most of us erect to take the part of a soul.

Yes the soul cries out, it thirsts, it yearns, quests, and so we go on. We search. Search longingly to find our place in the scheme of things. Who are we, where do we belong.

The problem is that those who have gone before us have masterfully left a Draft for us. Call it the Draft of Life. A maze, a maze with shops and shows, attractions entertaining in the extreme. Occupations. With promise of spotlights. Spotlights under which, should we display uniqueness, we will be applauded. Praised, recognized. But what after that, what after that?

Duality is a beautiful thing. It is a cage, a prison. Up down. Left right. Limitations, all the time laughing at us. I love it (its irony). Opposites. Counterparts, the makeup of our jail.

If you rise, where can you go but down. It does not matter if you keep rising. There is always a ceiling.

I used to have this dream, recurring. I was flying, soaring, but would meet up with this ceiling, anxiety would rise up to my throat. Fear. I would see an opening, come out through it, but find another warehouse type structure and I would hit that ceiling too. Scared, aloft. In between the structures sometimes there would be some one among those I saw on the ground chasing who all of a sudden had the gift of flight, reaching up attempting to grab my leg. Annoying, and frightening at the same time.

I found that the stage set in life, set by those who came before, could receive but two entries;

A) Rebellion, revolution.

Those who accepted it, were deceived by it, would either conform or seek to reform it. Unawares they were two sides of the same Coin, and so duped. Puppets, driven in counterpart. Duped.

B) Find the Truth.

It was the emptiness inside which inspired man creatively to build the societies we know, accept, customs, etc..

The emptiness inside is a stamp, innate, we come into this world with. Testament to a primordial occurrence. A primordial truth.

Guys like Joseph Campbell, Bill Maher, George Carlin, are all caught up in the web of the Void Conversely. Driven in opposition, conversely, yet still duped by the Void in Man.

Void Guises, dear people, Void Guises, all of our occupations. Fact is that which man ascribes to Myth, The Bible, The Fall of Man; is true.

No wonder that the Void within nominal Christians drives them to discredit the truth of the Word. The Crusades. Examples of man attempting through the Void to own the things of God.

When Jesus advertised that the Kingdom of Heaven is being assaulted, attempted to be scaled by force. Attained by Force. He was talking of the Dead. The Spirit of God Dead. Dead Spiritually, Sons of Adam, masquerading in good deeds, religion, works, pomp as did the Sadducees and Pharisees of that day.

As does everyone who see themselves as good, yet lack the Life of God, being born of a Spiritually dead individual; Sons of Adam.

Adam disobeyed, and so died Spiritually. We owe God a Life. Christ had to bring the Life of God, and make it available to us. But only if we believe. If we be believe that He was the Son of God. That He was crucified unjustly. In this way He cancelled out the debt we owed God.

The Just met Injustice, and so we profited from it. His Life is now ours, if we trust in Him. If we believe.

What I found is that “life” as we know it supplies us with a stage where we quest, we hunger, we search, we yearn. And all because we are dead.

We need to come alive. End with our source drive being the Void, and start with our Source Drive being the Life of God.

I can be reached at turbans713@yahoo.com, and
https://kingrat1397@gmail.com, and at face book as Miguel Angel Oquendo, And at https://www.facebook.com/BiblicallyReferencingHumanNature/ And the blog; andnowmiguel.wordpress.com/
Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Face Book.



19 thoughts on “What I Found

  1. As I said earlier also We Yearn to Earn all life but when we earn we again yearn not to loose. It is somehow a puzzle , like Rubic … When all the four sides completes we start unmixing -and resolve it . Life is a riddle we recieve by the Grace of God but a mystery for us he keep solving when we are happy he completes solving and we are in the tide of sorrows and troubles , must be he is mixing it again . It is my own theory I dont want to imply it on others ., what I think I shared. No thanks (Lol) ofcourse , but yes prounded reading all while as this was personally for me . I was eagerly waiting to read 🙂 touched as usual , or a lil more : )

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re right, sorry, it’s just that you got me paranoid with those rules; no thanks, no please, etc.
        So therefore;
        I like that illustration (Rubic cube). Its becoming undone, all the colors undone, is when we experience the chaos, and when again it begins to resolve, our situation takes a turn for the better. It is unique, your comparison. I’m impressed that here you have volunteered something for the first time instead of dropping off little quizzical thought provoking phrases which could be interpreted in too many shades, disconcerting.
        But the point is that I turned my back on your input. A no no. (but she said no apologies) I’m in the soup now, as the British say.
        But I’m very pleased, no thank you (lol). But wait you said, no sorry, darn dagnab it

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I like what you used as an analogy, yet, I disagree on one point. I don’t see life as a unsolved puzzle. To me it is no mystery. I see it very clearly, in fact man is the one who has been responsible starting in Adam for the confusion (apparent; in appearances, yet not in the Spirit). With the Spirit we are given understanding. I know and don’t blame you for feeling that this is my opinion alone and nothing else. Cool. You’re entitled to your opinion as to what I propound (in appearance, it appears as a opinion). We are all hesitant as a matter of fact I will address this very subject in a post right this moment. I will suspend writing this to go write that post. Thanks for the inspiration. and Check your mail Plz (did I say plz???).

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on andnowmiguel and commented:

    I have not reviewed this old post but I know that it will have some grammatical errors. But what I do recollect is that it enjoyed some notoriety. So I resurrected it for you.


      1. Hey, Tom, it appears that I was referring to another site and not Biblehub. I don’t know who they are but it is a Bible site which along the right margin offers study aids. I was at Bible hub today and saw their study tools and they are right out front, no clicking on widgets (?) involved. That’s when they (other site) offer study guides for a price.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes there was one years ago I enjoyed but you could only go so far before having to gift to get more. This Biblehub is pretty powerful. We always get lost going down different studies of verses and words. We are studying John and using A. MacLarens commentary and wow its awesome. In fact many points we have come across echo what you have been writing about.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I noticed at Bible Hub that throw in there portions of Good Commentaries to aid in studying whatever verse you pursue. I see there one I sent you the title of which I think got lost in the ethernet. Jamieson fausset and Brown. Those are good commentaries they Showcase there. I don’t know if I mentioned but the MHenry comes also in one vol as the Concise. I saw it quoted there.

        Liked by 1 person

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