A Romantic Heartbreak

The following is autobiographical, humiliating, but true. I think I likely have written about this before, and folks have confided as to its help in their lives, so listen up, perhaps you can share this with someone.

Married 18 years, with three beautiful daughters. My wife after having been unfaithful twice, yet we remained together. I asked of her, before the 18 years were fulfilled, “Please, if it is to happen the third time, give me a heads up…”

She did and after acting out the typical drama, I decided to leave the relationship. For those of you who are curious as to what some  of that drama entailed. I got my Cerificate of Ordination out and set fire to it over the stove to get a typical rise out of her (I refused to believe that I had no power over this woman; Ego), however this produced no reaction, as is typical, she had transferred “title to her affections” to another man.

This is the plight of romantic affections, friend. Mind you, I did a lot which contributed to this, yet not justifying this. But yes, I needed this to happen in my life so  that maturity would set in. God was to use this in my life.

Now back to those days….

I could not find sleep, I ate very little. I read the Bible, and studied it over and over. Paced the floor over and over, during the night. However, I refused to latch unto more trouble, meaning; another relationship.

Clavo Con Clavo No Se Saca. IE You cannot remove a nail with another nail.

She begged me for the kids; she gave the speech about how the kids belong with their mother. I acquiesced to this. I suppose the man she was with, agreed to take them on. In two months, she asked me to take the kids, which I did.

As to my troubling behavior; I visited her (while she yet had the kids) rapping, rapping relentlelessly. Applying all my charms (silly). “Maybe in ten years.”, was her response. In less than two years she asked me to take her back. But before then God had delivered me from the broken Psyche spell. I did not take her back.

One of my kids was raped during that time spent with her. Which I did not find out till years later. This one kid made my life very difficult, using violence against me. I learned a great deal from this child.

Any way back to the behavior manifested by me during this suffering ego venture; I’d be alongside her when she would be crossing the street. Begging her to come back to me, yacking (me), she, except for the laughing at my jokes, unresponsive.

Mind you, all this time, I was reading the Bible, studying it and doing lots of writing. I’d been a Alcoholic as a young man, can you imagine what my life would have been if I’d taken just one drink during this crises? God kept me from that. Now, when I say, “writing”, I mean analyzing my situation (and of course some notes on my Bible studying).

Well, I had reached a crossroads, I was tired of my behavior, I was tired of what I thought was “my love” within my breast.

I said; “Lord, give me something, you have to give me something, for I cannot stand this part”, this behavior. Imprisonment.

It was at the beginning of that week that a proverb began to take shape in my soul. I began to sketch it out, flesh the thought out on paper. I had it in full within my Spirit but I needed to word it out, so that my intellect might connect with it. That I might receive it.

what I write below is its completed stage;

“It is not good to remain in the field of battle, waiting for another chance to prove your mettle, while your enemy is off celebrating your defeat”

I was done.

Yup, it seems that this, above, is what many of us are doing with our lives.

If you wish to share the post, reblog, okay but please, the quote is mine from God, don’t mess with that copyright.

Thanks for visting, I hope that you have found some help here. Love; MAO

I can be reached at kingrat1397@gmail.com or at face book as Miguel Angel Oquendo (one in Huachuca City Az., there are a few others bearing my name)

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11 comments

  1. Bless you …yes …relationship of the ‘partner’ kind SHOULD be mutual, reciprocal and supportive as well as the ‘romantic love’ aspect …the clue is in the title tho ‘partner’ and maybe that’s where we fail …it’s not easy and requires BOTH to work at ….particularly over a long period ….I too had been with my ex 16 years when we split … a mutual decision in the end …we lived separately for 4 years untill I finally felt I needed proper closure and some certainty for myself and our boys so went for divorce. These things are never easy but I believe we are all a lot happier now …I tried to make things as amicable as possible …which wasn’t easy at times ….BUT it’s all part of this crazy journey we call ‘life’ …we all get there in the end if we keep moving in the right direction:):):)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much for the sentiments, especially for the thoughts. I’m always grateful when someon contribute to my posts, as we never know what the reader is in need of rubbing elbows with. You are a strong person, I can see, thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really love that quote. I need to sit down and reflect about it again. It can apply to many areas of life, not only romantic relationships.
    But I must say moving on from a relationship that once was blissful is one of the hardest and most courageous things one can ever do. But sometimes, that’s the only good option.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That hand that God gave me can be described as a declaration of moving on, getting on with the act of appreciating life, living freely from the urges of futility. I could begin to do something with my gifts, and enjoy the fruits of their labor. And thank you for such sincere appreciation and kindness. Will visti your blog soon. Visit again please.

      Like

    • It occurred to me but forgot to say; please feel free to tell of my experience, and I give permission for the use of the quote with the proviso that you name the author of the quote (being God and my name). Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

    • One more thing; My eldest, Opal, commented the same thing years ago about that quote: “Wow, Dad, this applies to a great deal in life, how we expend our energies, remain in desperate futilities”

      Liked by 1 person

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