Vestiges Of Blame And Expiation

“I’m sorry”

A phrase we tend to use from time to time. One of my mentors, when I was a kid, would tell me, “Never say your sorry, but instead say; ‘I apologize’, because it distances you from the subject matter, and makes a distinction between you and the guilt they want you to bare.”

Crazy, huh? Sounds like a darned movie. “Miguel’s Life”

No, of course he did not use all those words, I dressed it up to make his intent understood. As long as you get the drift.

And…..

My Puerto Rican people say; “Con sohree se mata a cualquiera.” IE, with sorry (implementation of this word) you can kill any one.

With “sorry” you are provisioned for murder.

In this, our case, provisioned to remain in ignorance of the truth.

Even the murder of self or an ideal, an image. And so it is that we leave things unrecorded, untagged, unregistered to the mind, and so relinquish obligation. Even suspend credibility. We build Mickey Mouse’s house, having left out some bricks.

“Mickey Mouse, build a house, how many bricks did he leave out?” I was teased with this, especially by little girls. A childrens rhyme we chanted back in the Bronx as kids. Yes, it should have said “built” (I guess) and not “build”.

What gave rise to this post is not only my school of thoughts, but a film I was watching……..

This little girl ran into the house of a ex-military dude, with a Hit Man in pursuit, for she had witnessed a triple murder. A “loser” (the ex-military guy) who was in the process of losing everything in his life. Mainly due to his conditioning and partly aided by Alcohol. Now there is a standoff within the house, as the Veteran holds off the killer.

While the little girl is telling of the incident (witnessed killings) and the previous circumstances of her life (being orphaned among these facts), the “loser” keeps punctuating all her sentences with; “I’m sorry.”, of which account the little girl then responds with; “You sure say sorry for a lot of things you didn’t do.”

Yes, having said this, conclusively she wins the audience’s heart (mine).

What, to start with, I’d like you to note is; Expiation.

Excuse, and blame.

He was finding a way of relinquishing obligation. Circumstances within his life for which he was accountable, which kept piling up on him like a house belonging to a hoarder piles up odds and ends, things one should have discarded long ago.

Sadly we all are in need of excuses, provisions for blame. Events which provide the consciousness with excuses pile up. It is the house, room we never clean up. Never go in there to assess because we need that circumstance in storage, a proviso for that day……

The penultimate day…..(of accounting).

This last is the thing we wish to keep at a great distance from us. It is a system of works lying beneath our consciousness. Working at the one thing it fails completely at. It is those two houses the little pigs built which the Big Bad Wolf (Oblivion, Waste, Discard which all await us) huffed and puffed, and blew them down.

Note that it was the 3rd house which withstood the huff and puff. Even this little tale is a story of man and futility.

For mankind (and womankind too) there will always be but one kind of Real, True Psychology applicable, suitable, which works. It is our essence, from whence we are derived; A Biblical Psychology.

I know, this above shatters your fortress, your place of safety, yet the reason for this is as the reason why you rely upon your fortress (huh???).

Baby, it is what we do; We fiction, we fabricate, we lie, we cushion ourselves with excuses, anything, yes anything but acknowledging our insignificance, our emptiness within. Yes, give drama, give that which this human comedic stage demands that I be dressed in.

Distance, dress me up that I might distance myself from guilt. Upon the stage, as players is where we are to find significance. Yet it is but an umbrella, from the knees down we get wet. The waters of the flood are forever in pursuit. Our inevitability calling. Doom, discard loom in the horizon.

Being but waste material, empty and spirit of God bereft.

No, not superstition. This instead is a primordial wound we bear. Man’s Psychology admits that no matter what, they can never aspire to the First, Basic Anxiety (Karen Horney) in any case, in any relation to any patient. Why?

Dearly beloved friends…..

Because the First, Basic Anxiety is a thing which humankind brings to the table. And so our fortress, our drama serves, as representations, ghosts of this primordial hurt.

There is so much here babes, so much my friends……

You need to allow you heart to piece it all together for you. In order for you to begin to possess true wisdom, permit your Soul its surcease.

However, yes, you can, without fear, peruse my archives. Trust me I know sometimes my posts are a little immature (old ones for the most part), but I’m learning to speak, to express my self.

Yes, it is that “fiction”, so labeled in order that we might disempower the echo from within which substantiates truth, that fiction; The Cross of Calvary where it, Life begins and a dress rehearsal for “Sorry” the play. Sorry will not do on that day. 

Thanks so much for reading, please return, not for my success, notoriety but for any help you might find here.

You may converse with me within the comments section provided or you can email me privately at kingrat1397@gmail.com or on face book, as Miguel Angel Oquendo (“Mickey” of Huachuca City, Az.)

Also these very reliable men might be near your area; Reverend Angel L. Oquendo (my Brother) at MinisterioAPG (Pembroke Pines Florida) on face book (Spanish and English), or Reverend Bob Schembre on face book also (Missouri)

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