We feel it yes, indubitably, but what does it mean?
We know what it entails, yes, recollect even the stage, the setting which elicited the hurt, but normally, in pedestrian fashion don’t have the inclination to breakdown the configuration, the makeup of this thing we experience; Hurt
“I still have feelings for you.” He (Raffaele Sollecito). thought while in Solitary Confinement. Feelings for Amanda Knox (Foxy Knoxy as the Press tagged her). He was hurt. She had turned on him. Left him in the lurch. Five days was all he had spent with her and become deeply emotionally attached. Her feelings had changed, and he was aware of this. It did nothing to dispel the hurt, or the affection (not love) he felt. The pain he felt. She left him holding the bag in an attempt to save her skin.
At the outset I confess that this is a very difficult task for me to explain this stuff, why? Because there are things of which I bear conviction but fail in the words department. But this is something I must attempt on this morning of 10/1/16. The Spirit owns a portion of my Soul. I impede it. The “I” which is indoctrinated to this world. He (The Spirit of God) has to get pass all that “life indoctrination” in order to reach you. This is how it works; Christianity. Fine.
Carmen; My first heartbreak…..
My first crying over a girl. I estimate, must have been round the age of 12, ridiculous I know. She was about 14 (cradle robber). You grow up fast in the Bronx (N.Y.C.).
My Sister who had been sexually molested, who had previously approached me, and as part of the symptoma, now saw fit to inflict this 14 yr. old into my life. Her friend Carmen. Sis was about 4 yrs older than I. She arranged for us to be alone in a darkened room. The idea was intercourse. Which did not occur due to my vulnerability and naiveness. We did make out, very poorly on my part. She was accomplished, another victim of sexual molestation.
Silly me, I thought she was my girl, like in the movies, huh…..credulous.
There she was days later making out with this dude who evidently knew how to. Ha. But I just burst into tears, and shaking. The kind of trembling and crying that only a credulous heart can produce, the disillusioned heart of a child.
My poor inquiring Mother; “Que fue? Que paso? Pero que fue?” Me, no words, just bawling profusely and trembling. It must have broken her heart, her inability to help, to succour her child.
Key words are all I know to employ in an attempt to put this hurt into perspective; We begin with……
Belief, accepting a thing within our value system. We grow Value Systems in order to create an Identity of Self. This serves to ground our psyche. Entrench the human mind, the Soul. Sanity is at stake here, but why?
All things boil down to the Soul, Self, Identity. Key words distributed for your assessing pleasure (sizing up what I say).
Recap; Investment, Identity, Value Systems, and the Soul (self).
Sanity because everything boils down to the Void. Nothingness awaits to envelope the human consciousness, but why?
Because we all of us are Voided creations. Not created Voided, flawed unusable, fit for discard, but we became Voided, empty, barren, when we counted as naught, little, insignificant; The Life of God through disobedience. We went on from there (disobedience) to be Spirit of God bereft. And so all the sons of Adam are in need of new genes, of Regeneration.
No I haven’t left the subject of hurt, listen……
The Void, yes the Void we all enter this world, this life with is responsible for the ideologies of man. That is another key word; Ideology
Romanticism; Another vesture among many which the Void desperately instills with worth, with ideals, with Value. We lack Identity. Our Void identity is “Nothing”. Nemo.
Sanity; another key word.
We desperately invest in ideologies due to our unstable minds. Yes all of mankind is on the verge of losing its presence of mind. A tenuous thread because it is unrealistic. A created thread by the Void in deceiving us. Self deception.
Because we have no center. Only the “Void” (another key word). Surrounding the Stage, the human platform is Aberration, ideologies, and this is why such a creation as Isis exists, a mad bid for glory, That Glory we lost in Adam is substituted for a unstable and fragile lower case “glory”. Yes we are all crazy.
It was self I cried for, as the young investing lover. A banner among many we erect in order to school us, baby sit us, hold our hand and obtain Relevance for us. Yes, it was Selfish, it wasn’t as we would have ourselves to believe “Puppy or a true love”, no.
It was a bid of the heart, of the Soul to obtain relevance, Value Identity among the many ideologies the human mind led by the Void manufactures. People….
People, get it correct.
All this is what real, realistic Christianity has taught me. It is not a religion, it is not a faith as Satan has relegated it to.
It is instead, a weapon, a healing instrument, it is Life, it is a Power when used correctly. When put into perspective.
When Relevance is employed rightly.
The human is reduced to a Hurt individual of whom all the actual condition, state tends to come out in the wash. Yes, all the drama we erect ends up in exposing our innate wound. Our innate hurt.
Darling dear; The whole world is a stage (Void produced, and the Void always has the last laugh).
Here’s a song for you baby….
It is of the utmost that you realize that it is the Void who Betrays, misleads us….
Hear the song now, the lovely song.
Thanks for the visit, I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Face Book as Miguel Angel Oquendo (“Mickey” of Huachuca City, Az.)
Also these very reliable men might be near your area; Reverend Angel L. Oquendo (my Brother) at MinisterioAPG (Pembroke Pines Florida) on face book (Spanish and English), or Reverend Bob Schembre on face book also (Missouri)