A Very Successful Old Post

Opal is my Daughter, as some of you know. I could not reblog this so I copy pasted it. I had many good responses to this. Enjoy.

EDIT

A Poem By Opal; Fortress

Okay here is another of Opal’s poems. There’s a great deal of beauty in this piece. In fact some might feel that she has perfectly captured how they felt at one time or another.

For those new to the poems I have posted from Opal, she is my first born Daughter. A leader a firestorm. She works today as a Child Therapist. Has worked in Prisons with Malefactors. She cried on the day she had finished working with them. Their hearts walked out the prison gates when she did.

Mine and Opal’s comments will follow combined.

FORTRESS

You don’t know me

You think you do

You want to love me

But you have no proof

I am just an illusion

I allow no intrusion

I won’t let you in

So don’t bother to begin

You can try and try

But I wont let you pry

You will only get so far

I will not let you add to my scars

These walls I have built, over the years

They consist of my pain, sorrow and tears

I won’t let you in

I will put up a fight

You can stay for a year

You can stay for the night

You’re wasting your time

You won’t penetrate

This fortress around me

Regardless of how long you wait

I won’t be like them

I won’t fall for the lies

I won’t believe in your love

I will be the first to say goodbye

I chose you because you’re the same as me

The same walls, the same fortress, the same desperate plea

Leave me alone

Stay far away

But occasionally,

I will come out to play

When I get lonely,

When I need more,

But inevitably, I will run and hide

Behind the safety of that locked door.



Above lies the end of the Poem. The assessments following were arrived at by my Daughter Opal and I after some discussion.

  1. Opal had spent cumulative years where she kept picking the wrong man. The relationships fell apart, were doomed to fall apart from the get go. This verdict is more fashioned after her thoughts than mine, but don’t be deceived, given more of a challenge, she would read much more into developing a summary than this (you will glimpse that..)
  2. She developed a plan, we all do. A shell even. The plan is reduced to a shell. The Tortoise.
  3. Given what the poem displays, there is actually some additional pain of a different kind now procured by the formula.
  4. Actually we might account this as a  dispensation, like all such, possessing proclaimed parameters. A kingdom making attempts to remodel self that it might find the best format.

    The proceeding will be to start with, some prognosis (her individual conclusions).

  5. She spent, in the end some time believing that she sought out these mates in search of substituting where I had failed her as a Father (Which I had, according to the ideology of Fatherhood).
  6. Look at it like this; By qualifying me, she qualified herself. Like a Circle, a thought which requires that it be circular for impact, for effect, for value.

 

Now, this is important……

I have orchestrated a change up here. From here onward you will play an important, huge roll in this post. You will do the tying up of the post loose ends on your own. Fortunately what I will supply: A conversation between Opal and I will assist you in coming to a conclusion (unheard of).

Opal;

I’m cooking for the week chores and crap. Ummm u know about my epiphany when I found myself with the same, different guy almost 20 years later. What I learned about my cycle, patterns, chasing the unattainable over and over in order not to acknowledge the real void. Reread the poem it’ll all read different since our talk.
Me;
Actually I have reread it perhaps four times today and have watched it grow in value
Me;
So however let me see, you were looking for a balm in respect to how I had failed you as a Father figure?
Opal;
 
A balm?
Me;
A healing balm (biblical lotion)
medicinal
Your choice for men was to step in and repair that cavity, absence
Opal;
That’s what I thought but during my epiphany I learned that all of it was manufactured. Including your so called failure.
Me;
Okay then that would imply that the Void used void guises to occupy you (I feel this is correct)
Void Guises to give you purpose
 Opal;
Yes
Me;
And if so, having caused you to arrive at this conclusion, ,means Spiritual growth
But this also means that the piece deserves a comment in both respects, before and after
Opal;
Yes exactly 😱
Me;
I am digging it man
Okay looks like we’re done, I will go to the post now
Opal;
I hear a German accent when I read that
Me;
Dot ees so veird coz I did sometimes ven you all ver kidz sprikenze vith a german akzent (back then I was teeezin you guys)
I vil goes to da pozt naw
Opal;
Oh lord!
Me;
okee rokee every body

2:48PM

Me;
Some clarification; Did you conclude that you chose these partners to replace where I had failed, hoping that they would succeed, or (think) were they picked out that they would repeat the same scenario. As in a self condemnation. You deserved nothing better, that men, all men should fail you as I did. Like a fulfillment, making you a forever martyr.
Opal;
Yes I picked them knowing they would fail and not live up to my standards, thus facilitating the necessary cycle of me playing the role of victim. In the beginning I believed I could change them which would finally allow me to win the Neverending battle with u and u would finally change and be who I wanted u to be. A few years ago when I wrote the poem I realized that I had found safety in losing the battle bc I never had to take any real risk. Subconsciously I knew from the beginning how it would end and which made me feel safe. Disappointment is not as powerful when u expect it.
Me;
Or when you orchestrate it. Set up the stage, the scenery and the bit part players. Hand them the script.
Opal;
Yup so no one could hurt me.
Me;
Except you
Opal;
Yup!
The last guy was literally a male version of me all though he was much less self aware/evolved
Me;
less evolved?
Opal;
He was an amateur
Me;
Hahahaha
Opal;
But he didn’t know I was a master 😱
Me;
What is that, is that home alone? (emoji)
Opal;
Idk I just like that one 😎😎
Me;
It looks like the after shave alcohol burning kid response
two hands on the face
I can’t make it out
I see what I want to
Opal;
Can u see that one? Hahaha😁 (a big thumbs up was here which did not show up on the copy/paste)
Me;
Is that a hellyeah?
yup that’s a hell yah
========================================The End

I can be reached at; turbans713@yahoo.com, and
https://kingrat1397@gmail.com, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook.

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2 comments

  1. This is good and this is true. The guilt we carry with intent is not what He intends but giving it up is so easy to tell but so difficult too practice. The role of victim is easy and sometimes made even more easy by society. To truly break that cycle however is by coming to Him.

    Liked by 2 people

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