Cast In Her Last Mite

I forget what year it was but I was married at the time with three daughters back in Brooklyn NY. I was at IBC. International Baptist Church of Vanderbilt Ave. Working as Assistant to the Principal of ICS, International Christian School.

While I underwent training for the job in NY State, the leader of the meetings in the morning would give us a five-minute Challenge. Much like a little sermonette.

I implemented the “Challenge” as routine for the morning assembly of students. I would meet from time to time with other kids who wanted to give the morning Challenge, I would cultivate the preparations and creative skill within them needed to assemble one. But on the morning of this story, I am about to tell I happened to give the Challenge.

That having been done, I was going by the office (a room to the side of the stage) when I heard one of the girls crying and I saw Mrs. Silverstein holding her as she did so and the girl trembled. Seeing me, the Teacher called to me. Lizzette was the student. The story relayed was that Lizzette, who attended another congregation was swamped with responsibilities there. She headed up far too many jobs, working with kids and even cleaning the Church and taking care of the Nursery besides. She was having trouble with her school work on top of it all.

She had made up her mind to give up one of her responsibilities. That is, until this morning.

The Challenge was about the Widow and her last Mite. She gave it all withholding nothing back from the work (Treasury). Strangely enough, I had said, “Whether it is your time or money…”

Who was I to stop her from giving her all?

If in her daily walk now she would get a second wind or if some new kid would step forth and desire one of her offices to fill and take it off her hand. Or if some grown up would see what this kid (Lizzette) was doing and intercede. But for the time being this crying brought about a release which made her Faith the more powerful, more meaningful, we just don’t know the role these things are made to fulfill.  ==========================================================

Thanks for being here.

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook


Romance; Live, Die, Repeat (pt.4)

Below is the link to pt.3 (wherein you will find the rest of the links in reverse) ===================================================================

We cover the subject of romantic heartbreak and help.

This will be a cementing chapter so please stay with me.

In fact, should you feel anxiety recurrances always come back to this chapter for anchoring and potential expiation of such floods.

Vindication; Consider it a luxury you cannot afford. 

A detriment, a weight which will restrict progress. Bogg you down. Understand that the wish to be in possession of vindication in this matter will but loan substance to the whole affair. Crazy eh? But true. The more vindication has ground and value for you, the more your pain will increase (and anxiety).

Know that this whole occurrence is to be denuded of substance. Trashed and disempowered. It is a fictional and dramatic license which eats away at your soul for the moment due to your disastrous involvement in this ravenous romantic event. What you brought to the table is what eats at your heart. You invested. Oh yes, you invested.

So let’s not add to that investment.

Yes, we loaned it some creds. 

What did we invest in this affair? The answer to this is; The Labor, the work, the building of this IOL (image of lovability or Image of self as lovable)

Yes, the above is a thing we pursue. A wish, a dream, an illusion we use to allay, keep at bay, a horror which clings to our soul, our being. Early in childhood life outfits us with “A Mission”, a crusade to supply us with “Value”. Always at our flanks is a nibbling barking clawing horror we fear to turn to it and acknowledge its significance and import.

And this is the answer to the song; “Why do fools fall in love?”

Two people who are involved in a Romantic Relationship are complicit in the building of, supplying an IOL for one another. 

Such as the child now a grown-up follows patterns of self-destruction in adulthood as a pledge which is responsible for preserving a theme, an unnecessary fiction that they are lovable.

Yes, I know, all this is sad but true. We dash self against the rocks, oooweee yeah.

The IOL grows and grows and grows and grows. But…

When that work experiences the harsh reality that it carries not enough weight for allegiance, for perpetuity, commitment…

One feels lied to, betrayed. Even though it was an illusion. But there is also the mechanics of a romantic relationship to consider, to analyze. Does it have steps, and does it have a template? Actually yes it does.

We need to put all this into perspective that we might see that our pain, our disabling anxiety runs more logical and deeper in the scheme of things than we might imagine.

We can cross paths with accountability. How responsible are we in this heartbreak, the role we perpetuated which has reason and purpose for this outcome? Yes, this is our weakness as human beings; We worship confusion. We supply much too many distractions, subterfuges. Even the discrediting of God but to distance our selves from that same horror which does pursue and credits us as martyrs.  =======================================================

I appreciate you joining me today, return for pt.5 in this lovely series, yours sincerely; MAO.

Talk to me in the comments or…

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook


Knowing God

I am ashamed to say but I never feel closer to Glod than when I need Him most. We want to appear to be perfect even in our worship of God. As a matter of form. Religious form. Protocols. I thank God for the people who hurt me. For they make my state more real to me. My need and His provision come alive the more to me.

The times I have been profoundly hurt I can no longer hide my need, my flaw or His provision in Christ. I instead scurry to my Lord for care, for often He is the only one aware of my pain. I thank God for that business, that private business. I can only cry out to Him. Only He understands. I can say that those are times where rituals don’t provide. Times where the certitude He provides is more comforting than protocol.

We were not put here on earth not to get hurt. Christ Himself came and was hurt for our sakes. Hang in there my friends. He is the light in the tunnel. 

Thank God for those who hurt us. For oppressing circumstances. Don’t invite them but take refuge in Him when they meet us in the dark and dirty alley. He will never put you through more than you can bear. It may seem so but He is working in you. He will perform a good work in you. He has never let me down, no never, for when I arise from despair, oh, when I arise from the pit of despair…

Alls I can say (always) is “Look out!”

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook

One More Old Post

Baby It’s You

Who would of thought that you’re in love with yourself when you’re romantically involved with another person. Yet this is true, “Baby it’s you”.
When you meet with that individual, instinctively you know.
You know what?
Let’s be honest, okay, throw your pride out the window and listen to the bare facts, the truth; You know that this will be one who will consent to play the wild, mad romp of romantic love with you. Yes, and play it is, for better or worst, and both those ingredients, are provided by the players, guaranteed.
Of course this one (the eyes consent with) meets your ascetic requirements; Appealing, pleasant to look at, etc..
Your attraction to this individual has more to do, take you by the hand, than just sexual attraction…
Remarkably, as contradicting as it appears to those of us who believe, need the cover of “Romanticism”; The dance of the one night standers, is conducted for the same reasons, set forth, driven by the same mechanism as the one under the guise of “Romanticism”. As a matter of record, its presence is, though in appearance more crude, selfish, but a more sincere beacon, a diamond in the rough representation of our plight. Signaling from whence the true urge to become engaged in romantic love ascends from.
This is “The Dance of Love”, an ordinate within each and everyone of us, a thing we cannot resist. This also is why infidelity, has such power, able to break, devastate hearts, families, etc..
Yes, there will be those amongst us, thinking themselves more cunning, more cold blooded, who see the counterpart (individual who will play opposite him/her) as a piece of…..
and nothing more.
But they too are pawns, puppets in the grand scheme of things. They also feed a foundational drive which owns them, forcing them to quest for meaning.
For everyone there are things opposing, symbolizing loud and clear an indictment against us, which must be silenced, and this (impacted indictment) is why we do what we do.
Yes the vestiges of these haunting entities have been given masks, titles, designations, within each and everyone of us, and though they haunt, yet give us meaning and purpose. But it is all deception indeed. A great charade.
The following, I have unveiled before, but due to the new faces passing through this blog, worth repeating;
There is a profound need within the individual to be assessed as “Lovable”. This assessment is processed, and reiterated by the romantic relationship. When two people are engaged in the “dance” they are in the process of building for “Self”, an IOL; a Image Of Lovability.
I build one for me, and my partner builds one for herself.
It’s akin to putting wood, and more wood into the fire.
It feels great don’t it?
In fact we have made a god out of it. Yes, we are like that, feeble (sorry). Don’t get me wrong; I too am susceptible. Is it not an ordinate within.
We need to see the Big Picture.
Meaning what?
Eternity. How does this relate to eternity? Like everything else in life, all of our occupations, are practices employed to keep the Void at bay. To occlude the truth. To give us a value which our Psyche is disposed to employ as a substitute for that which we forfeited in our Father Adam. And so it is that we’re born minus the Spirit of God, true Life, true Love.
This earth is loaded with gauges, devices of assessment, fortresses which we, driven by the Void within have manufactured in a grand effort to pull the wool over our eyes.
So it goes with the Romantic Redemption Drama.
The Web we have spun has covered many aeons. And so it is that the message of the Void and the Bible have been disempowered for the most part. Occluded.
Be wise. Do the right thing.

Allow me to sing this song for you;

I can be reached at, and, and at face book as Miguel Angel Oquendo, And at And the blog;
Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG (Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Face Book.

A Popular Old Post


What does it mean?
You’ve heard it in Forrest Gump.
Stupid Is As Stupid Does.
This has helped me in my life greatly. How so?


What ever the circumstances in my life, guess what….
Stupid did it.

Stupid created those circumstances, he made them come to pass. There is a part of us which is, just turns out, upon closer examination; is just plain stupid.
And then again “stupid” could be a guise.

A guise to test us, to cause a house cleaning project now and then; accountability.
Think about it…
What have I espoused in my posts. Quite a few things. Among them Duality. How would that apply here?
It stems (the subject matter) from our imperfection. It drives us to seek perfection. This is a duality. Imperfection/perfection.
In reference to the chaos we at times are responsible in producing all our lives we must see the following;

A) A effort at reconciliation.
Imperfection and perfection coming to a head. In this case we see our other half speaking, making statements (this is because we are a duality) and the statements are configurations (pictures, or pictured in) IE the chaos. A difficult situation, a ruin, a dismantling of a work in progress.

It seems we are captives.

We want to take credit for the good in our life, accomplishments of merit. But we must acknowledge the bad. We must listen to stupid.
Hear stupid out.
We are a Dichotomy. Two parts. Just like we are, since the Biblical Fall, a Soul/Body individual construct.
The soul is subject to the needs and present condition of the body. In fact the connection is such that we use the body, to speak through.
Speak through in the language of Good or Poor health.

But this division also exists in our Self. Our Self is dualistic. It is divided. This is so because we are an Assessor. We assess in order to Compensate for the absence of the Spirit of God.

And so without fail, quite effortlessly this system which seeks to compensate for the Spirit of God absence; Rides Herd upon us. Drives us from our imperfection to make a god (little g) out of Perfection.
The sad part is that God is True Perfection.
So yes how we mourn that loss.
How we mourn that loss….

However, God is the Tie That Binds.

Staying in the things of God, studying His Word, thinking, meditating upon what you have read, prayerful, praying in your thoughts, resourcing what you have read, can heal.
It can tie stupid to your other half. The half which seeks truth.
Your priorities will be offset. Offset by the Spirit of God.

Your priorities can be most simple, most effortless, more Spiritual, more Godly, more peaceful.
More nurturing, more healing.

So over all….

Stupid is as stupid does, and it can be used to point you, after some exasperation, to God.

Thank you for reading. Sincerely; MAO

Talk to me in the comments or…

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook

Romance; Live, Die, Repeat (pt.3)

Welcome back to the faithful and welcome to the beginners with this series. It focuses on dealing with the pain and anxiety of failed romance. It is a very good resourceful and effective series (see for yourselves). This is a subject of which there, in truth is so little of a comprehensive nature written about. ==============================================================

Below is the URL for pt.2 which once opened up you will find the URL for pt.1 within. ====================================================================

Some clarity is needed for closing out pt.2 before stepping out in earnest for pt.3

A sort of summary of pt.2;

A) To address the pain of a failed romance we must begin with that festering “hold-out” from that failed romance…

The hold-out is us tacking on to our being a state of us floating in limbo. Which defines us as “owned” by that failed event. A residue of; “Maybe” this individual will come back, apologize, proclaim the mistake they made in hurting us, now having missed us deeply, remorseful and there are many more offerings like this in this future “fiction” we picture. This then is precisely a thing we must discard and identify immediately before continuing unto the 2nd stage of info required for healing.

The above has taken a poisonous foothold in our soul. As long as this truth remains unaddressed within our being we will remain programmed to fail. Owned. We have so few options other than those paralyzingly born of it if we fail to address this condition (present state aftermath).

IE; Programmed to fail. Addicted to this failed event. Holding out for related magical add-ons.

Also; Love rebounding is cowardice. Perpetuating “reset”. Intended to keep us in a perpetuating of errors, a comedy of errors.

Romantic ideals which are self-destructive in nature. Entrenched in our being which serve an illogical purpose. Therefore, let us expose this “Snakebite” poison. Okay, we know that it brainwashes us. It directs our “all day long steps”. It even elicits anxiety from our core. IE; Self-disabling. And now I come to the most puzzling descriptional attribute which defines purpose in this remaining poison in the life of one whose romance has failed…

We perpetuate Value by watering such ridiculous centers within our being. “Maybe” they will text, maybe they will repent, will miss us and acknowledge it. Such holdouts must be addressed, identified and dealt with. Holding out with these hopes lend imprisonment to our light, our might, our healing. Restrict us. 

To put it simply; to water, such illusions are to empower the present dilemma. It is but to vesture us with “Martyrism”. I would describe this as a Redemption Drama. Dressing us up as an afflicted one. A crusader, a masochist. But there are more simple mechanics which can aid us in such a crippling predicament…

Here is one such tool; Duality Value.

Whether they return, don’t return, call, don’t call, regret, don’t regret…
All of these potential futures (have not transpired limbo imprisonments) are but mere “Enlistments” which strip us of power and serve but to flood us with anxiety.

Look, this is all primordial stuff. Though the analyst will attach to this behavior events in our indoctrinating circumstances it, in fact, goes deeper than that. This is a Primordial Spiritual heartbreak which was invoked, disinterred within our breast by (actually) the event which occurring here on this earthly plane was reinforced, given creds, bonafides of necessity due to the horror it invoked from within. But for the time being, just disempower this crippling device by putting it “Into Perspective”. How then?

As Psyche Values; Call, doesn’t call, returns, doesn’t return…bluffs…stalls…

This is but a gauge which is manufactured by the human mind and therefore a fiction, these then, all equal Zero Value. They serve but to wipe one another out. They cancel one another. Be then stern, just like Kipling’s Triumph and Disaster are but two impostors held out to you by the human Psyche. 

We shall go more into this upon returning.

Thank you for stopping by. Return to pt.4, please. =========================================================

Talk to me in the comments or…

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook

Romance; Live, Die, Repeat (pt.2)

This series has to remain under inspiration, and so you need to be alerted at the very beginning of pt.2 that I had to go back and edit pt.1 which means that if you have already read it, please go back and find what is different at present about it that you be availed of all its healing properties. What was added there needed to be added there and not here! =======================================================================

Link to pt.1 is below. ===========================================================================   Added words to aid and empower (or phrases?).

Application (or apply).




To begin in earnest, to begin with the intent of kicking arse…

You must “address” that voice within which keeps hope alive that they will “Regret”. That is a position designed to ensure failure or anxiety. A position which dresses in different guises to keep us deceived. How to recognize that position?

It can surface in various guises in thoughts;

And these are known as “Anchoring Investments” intent to preserve the buoyancy of the incorrect state of mind, it got you here to this misery and pain, to begin with. To losing control of your (what should have been your) life.

They (person of this failed romance) might yet return one day to intrigue us into resuming our romance? They might nonchalantly call, pretend as if nothing ever terminated, attempting to get back without admission, into our good graces, and we will know the truth (a change of mind). Remorse. To see this situation, circumstance as the scales being tipped in our favor does in truth sustain the past, keeps the lie, illusion alive and disinters. It resurrects Anxiety. It suspends progress, suspends healing. Returns us to the position of “Victim”. Perpetuates error, the state of error, robs us of might and healing. In fact, it robs us of pragmatism. Remember, it was due to our suspension of disbelief and the employment of our hopes and trust which enabled the pastime, the occupation to deplete our health, our energies and foster rampant Anxiety. Do you see how crucial this first step is in healing?

This first step as we attempt to outline for the mind here is one which will access for us an early reprieve and starts us on the road to recovery from all this turmoil we find self wrapped up in. This prison of our own making. Was it not our affections which lured us here? This initial consideration for the process of healing, taking back ground, cannot be overemphasized.

Do not hold up hopes to yourselves of succeeding in “A wrong thing”. An activity which had no foundation for “Reality”. Don’t count on a return, on a text, on a phone call, a letter, a confession that they have missed you for those things cannot but perpetuate the heartbreak, the pain, IE but authenticate them, grant your pain, your falling apart more severity. Make them more credible. Set you out on the wrong track, retrace your value incorrect system pursued. These type of hopes, of expectations, will drive the last nail into the coffin. Do not perform prematurely your last rites. Do not empower such occupations, such thoughts.

We shall return to close these thoughts out in pt.3.


If alone, you employ reason with the above you will have jumpstarted the power. Thanks for joining me here.

Reach me in the comments or…

I can be reached at;, and, and at Facebook as Miguel Angel Oquendo. (Mickey, of Huachuca City, Az.)

Or you can contact these folk; Rev. Bob Schembre (Missouri), or Ministerio APG  (My Brother, Pastor Angel L. Oquendo, Spanish and English, Florida) both on Facebook